July: the bridge between two chapters
Meeting a new sea, Bangalore window-gardens, and a poem +painting
Dear readers,
I usually start thinking about this newsletter in the last week of a month, given that I send it out on the last day. I thought July would be a hectic month but actually, it was kind of a…lull? I travelled for a beach wedding in Thailand in the first week, fell sick in the second week, and the third week drifted by in a haze of feverishly submitting to journals and trying to write while enjoying the scraps of sunshine and blue skies which Bangalore weather deigned to toss out in middle of the monsoon. I was just wondering how to make of this strange month when I read Ella Frances Sander’s post , where she writes: “July has, this year, been both elusive and reassuring. I feel like I’ve missed everything and yet found many small important clues for living.” And it was a light-bulb moment! Some months are bridge months, the blank space between chapters and perhaps, this is what this July has been for me. Of course, it also means that it gives my restless mind plenty of material to dissect, analyse, brood over….well you get the drift! I know in past that instances like these often lead to anxiety bouts because there is nothing better than my mind likes to do whenever there is a pause between thoughts, so to speak. Over the time, I have worked out ways to keep the anxiety at bay and that usually includes some kind of movement/project to distract the mind. Most of the times, it works, sometimes, it doesn’t and I then usually sit with the anxiety, acknowledging and accepting it and then gently but firmly walking to another state of mind.
If I have to describe that space which will forever be an antidote to my anxiety, it would always be the beach. I have often said that the waves come up to say hello wherever I go and no matter how fanciful it sounds, I always do feel the sea greeting me whenever I meet it after long periods. This time, thanks to the wedding, I encountered the Andaman sea in Phuket region of Thailand, which I had never done so before. The funny thing is that that part of Thailand appeared so familiar to me, as if I was driving through Goa or somewhere in Western Ghats. And while I encountered several familiar trees and shrubs over there, I also gladly discovered so many new plants as well: the fragrant screw pine’s striking orange fruit, a spectacular doubled hibiscus, and this paint-brush like flower of a tree I found fallen on the hotel lawns. Our trip was too short to do that part of Thailand justice but we managed to sneak out for a couple of bike rides to the nearby beaches, including the aptly named Memories Beach, where I peacefully gazed at the setting sun with an adorable doggo, who had made himself a dugout in the sand. It had been a stormy few days before our arrival but thankfully, especially for the wedding hosts and organisers in question, it calmed down enough for gleaming mirror-smooth shores and playful white-plumed seas, the color of which was not quite azure or blue or green. Sitting on the shore, gazing one wave arrive after another, feeling the breeze in my hair, I couldn’t have asked for more precious and much needed moments of peace.
If there is one thing I sorely missed during the pandemic, or more accurately, when things were mostly shut down and movement restricted, it was walking around and exploring the city. While it is not always easy to walk with intent on the streets here in Bangalore, I nonetheless do make it a point to walk around a place if I am running an errand or dropping by a cafe. I especially love walking in the quieter bylanes of Bangalore neighborhoods and have come to love capturing what I have decided to call the Bangalore window-garden aesthetic. I love discovering the houses, each with their own character and color and style, the gardens spilling over onto the street, a blurring of the private and public space. I also love observing the vintage windows, doors, and details, vintage as in of a certain era and time, imbuing each house its distinctive personality. Every time I look at these houses, I imagine what how lovely it would be to look out of the window and see these abundant gardens thriving around you, the day flowers scenting the air, the ones at night perfuming the star lit nights. Each house and garden has their own story and I always find myself imagining the lives of those inhabiting these houses. Thinking about these homes and gardens, sometime ago, I had stumbled upon this gorgeous Instagram account featuring a heritage home surrounded by a lovely garden. The sunshine pouring onto the woven rugs on the terrazzo floors, the potted plants, bookshelves, and antique furniture dotting the rooms, a garden bed below a bough of bougainvillea, it is the kind of home styling which instantly had my heart. One day, perhaps, I will live in a house like this - but until then, I will be imagining that dream space in my head, building it by room by room.
And finally…
A poem by Tess Gallager that I found myself reading again and again.
This painting for me captured unbridled joy, not to mention it being a stirring depiction of the solidarity and strength you find in sisterhood. I love the muted, gentle hues of Joya’s work, which you can follow here.
Here’s all from me, dear readers, until next month, wishing you find joy wherever and however you can.
Much love,
Priyanka
End notes:
Writing updates (or lack of:(
Alas, I didn’t publish anything this month plus got a rejection for an essay I had been especially excited for. I am getting much better at accepting rejections in the last few years, ever since I began actively contributing to literary magazines, at any rate but sometimes, it really does knock you out for a bit. Anyway, hoping for a better writing month/s now onwards:)
What I read:
Books
The Christie Affair - Nina de Gramont
Oddly enough, I have yet to read an Agatha Christie (I know, right?!) but this story about the time she went missing for few days has always fascinated me. So when I read a re-imagining of what might have happened to her during that famed disappearance, I was instantly intrigued and really enjoyed what turned out to be a poignant, many layered novel.
Sofia Khan Is Not Obliged - Ayisha Malik
A British Muslim woman’s take on Bridget Jones. I had bought this book ages ago from my favorite second hand Bangalore bookstore, Blossoms but just didn’t get around to reading it up till now. It was definitely the light read I needed during what was an anxious end of the month; I enjoyed the refreshingly alternative representation of Muslim women and the dating scene. The novel is set in London and although I have never lived in the city, having only visited it several times, I still felt nostalgic for it along with all the delicious British snacks:)
Links:
Fascinating piece on how sacred groves are boosting conservation in India
A lovely piece about verandahs and what they represented in terms of a threshold space via Sukhada Choudhary’s wonderful newsletter, The Curious Corner.
The significance of framing abortion as healthcare if you want to fight abortion stigma.
Loved this comic about living in Mars time
I really love this newsletter and this instalment particularly struck a chord with me: of names and marriages and patriarchy.
What I watched:
Only Murders In the Building are back and I am so happy! And as I tweeted the other day, I am actually glad it is a weekly and we can anticipate each coming episode while ruminating over the previous one in old school style. And if I liked Martin Short’s Oliver in the first season, I absolutely adore him now!
Koffee with Karan, ugh. Ugh because I have been watching it for a *long* time now and old habits are hard to break but the pretty abysmal quality of this season may just make it easier to let go. I would rather watch the older episodes from the previous seasons where KJo is a much more likeable version of himself and the conversation is actually fun, witty, and interesting as opposed to the insipid, intrusive, and crass chatter that the host thinks will appeal to the audience today. Bah!